fables.. if only there was someone else behind my bellybutton =[

I wish I could say that my life was the same where ever I went.. but I would know I was lying. The way we act, the way we speak. We change. Maybe for the worst, maybe for the best but usually it is for protection. Why is it I can’t be accepted home or away? Better yet who has the balls to say whether or not I am accepted. I life the fact that life is a constant changing circle but my life will never be a place I can feel comfortable and be happy all at once while not wondering if it will affect the “me” I portray elsewhere.
Yeah you could call me fake. But it would only mean you don’t know me. LIFE. That is my most unpredictable time. But honestly that is all I think I need it to be anymore. I can’t depend anyone else but the person behind my bellybutton. And that’s me.
Its funny (to me, not you.. if there was a you) but that is a statement my mom used to say. I can’t see my mother as a person I would ever listen to willingly, but then again I have grown to realize and repulse most everything about my home life at this point. I see the way I have turned out and after a lot of hours reading, crying, and being just the best I can be- that is all I expect. I know each fault and each crook that is wrong- and yeah I am definitely going to blame my psych major for that but I know more than anything that my home life makes me hate more about myself than any one person could ever. Its so opposite.. I wish that there was a place I felt I could be me.. but the more and more I learn that my mind has no off switch and that I can’t make others actually have a logical brain and an open one at that.. the more I wish I knew how to change.
IF I COULD BE A DRONE I WOULD. If I could be a Doid (it’s a UNION thing… don’t believe me? Urban dictionary tells it the same as my brother would..) .. I would. I accept this and I move on.
I hope the world is treating you better.. I am here to listen you know.. its funny but I think I am like that because I am so tired of listening to my own life that I thrive on helping anyone else besides myself.
I hope the world is well.. maybe I’ll step into a book and life will cease around me.. but I guess reaching 21 I should really grow up and not believe I fables.. huh?

p.s. you should read Paul Gallico’s book “The Man who was Magic”

the image below always reminds me of it for some reason.. =]